TAH: Christmas Special
by Threebranch
Summary: A one shot that takes place several weeks after the events of Chapter 17 in my ultimate crossover fanfiction, "Things are Happening." Because why not.


_Author's Note:_ Seriously guys. You won't understand a thing if you don't read "Things are Happening" first. I do not own The Loud House. I also make no money off this story.

Criticism is appreciated.

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TAH: Christmas Special

Lying down on a reclinable couch. A thirty-five year old Lincoln Loud smiles at himself.

"Ah, finally retired. Fourteen years working for Lincorp really does fly by."

He looks up at the ceiling of his mansion.

"This is the life."

Then suddenly, a green portal comes appears from out of nowhere right in front of him.

Surprised, Lincoln stands up and then immediately realizes that it's a portal from the devices that he used to sell to other versions of himself.

He expected to see somebody come out; it could be anybody he may or may not know. But that didn't happen. The portal just stood there.

Lincoln walked closer, maybe he is the one who needs to enter. It's not going to go away.

He looked over to his coffee table and looks at his own multiversal travel portal gun.

He grabbed it, closed his eyes, then ran into the portal. Not wanting to risk having something cut off if the portal closes while he's partially entering.

When he opened his eyes, he finds himself in a dining room not all that different from his.

The dining table is a little smaller though.

"What is this place?"

"Ah, Lincoln. Glad you made it."

Lincoln looked over to his right to see another version of himself but looking like he's in his late 40's and is dressed in a suit and tie. He is also holding a plate of food in each hand.

Setting the plates down on the table, the suited Lincoln walked up to him and extended his hand for a handshake.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am also Lincoln Loud, but I am the C.E.O. of Lincorp."

This caused the other Lincoln to step back, surprised at what he just heard. Nobody he knew knows who the C.E.O. is or what he does exactly. All they have to know is that he created Lincorp and that he is in charge.

"The C.E.O.? It's a… pleasure to meet you."

Lincoln accepted the C.E.O.'s handshake.

"Just so you know, I didn't take the time to learn what time of day it was in your universe. So I made steak and eggs."

That's how everything works if you want to know something about a universe before you enter it. Sometimes it takes hours for the results to come back.

"Medium rare?"

"Medium rare."

"Okay then."

The Lincolns both sat down but before the Lincoln that was invited was about to dig in, he reminded himself about why he is here. He doesn't know yet.

"Wait a second, what am I doing? Why did you bring me here?!"

The C.E.O. already has cut a piece of steak and was about to eat it when he focused his eyes on Lincoln.

"Okay, I'll cut straight to the point."

He bit down on what he already had on his fork and took his time chewing it.

"As you may already know, YOU are the only person in the entirety of Lincorp, myself included, who has been 'abducted,' for lack of a better word by this 'Council of Linc's' that have been appearing in the multiverse as of recently. We even managed to track down their original universes and have been keeping an eye on them in case they return."

"Yeah. That's right. I've been to their playplace. They're actually good people. The Overseer too."

"Ah, that Overseer. What I would give to see him again. Our devices up until that point have never been able to go… wherever the hell he is right now. And they haven't been able to travel there since. It seems that he can redirect the… 'pathways.' Again. For lack of a better word. I just wanna know… what exactly do you know about them?"

"Okay, get this. The council that we're talking about. Had only been together for only one day when I was… forced over there."

"Yeah… Bunyip's can be… scary. Thank goodness they're extremely rare to come by. Plus, you had your weapon on you."

The weapon that all Lincorp employees carry. Used only for emergencies.

"Yeah, I wasn't scared. Well… while I was over there, I had to do some… educating."

"Educating? What were you educating them about?"

"Oh, The Sin Kids."

The C.E.O. widened his eyes; surprised by what he heard.

He took a drink of coffee that was beside his meal; then responded.

"The… rascals. The… abominations. The… unlucky ones that never asked to be born. I would never do to my sisters what those Lincolns ended up doing to theirs. And imagine my shock when I stumbled across one of those universes for the first time. But I'm afraid that is the subject of the topic at hand. I know that you're retired and all but I'm gonna have to make you do some more work."

"WHAT!? WHY!?"

"Lincorp is… facing problems. One of which needs addressing by those few with the proper experience. You're one of them. The majority of Lincoln Louds in the multiverse don't even know about the sin kids and anyone with a sense of morality can argue that it's just better for everybody if it stays that way. However… there has been a… heist. Recently."

"A heist?"

"I won't bother you with the details but a very small fraction of our merchandise has been stolen and now we have hundreds of thousands of not millions of those bastards travelling the multiverse!"

"That's… insane."

"And that's not all. We can't fund your precious Lincorp Life Pension Package without the shareholders."

"Shareholders?"

"People who own stock in our company. Our stock prices from everywhere have been falling since that incident. Also, to make matters worse, because they think that mismanagement is the cause, 80 percent of our robotics division has gone rogue."

"The guys with the dangerous robots? They can fight entire armies with those."

"They do what they do not for money or economy. They said in their note that they just want what's best for every Lincoln Loud. Whatever THAT means! They're planning something and it has something to do with that section of the multiverse."

"Okay… so where do I come in? What am I supposed to do?"

"YOU are going to find as many Lincoln Louds as you can find that have gone through the same traumatizing experience that you went through and carry out phase one of my recovery plan. We need to win back the shareholders. The holidays are in two weeks and during that window of time, you will all be delivering my personal donations of canned food, boxes of cereal, and sliced white bread to the very same universes you were all traumatized by. I'm sure that they're all struggling to some degree. You don't even have to look at any of them. Just leave it at the door like a mailman, ring the doorbell, then get out of there. And it will be on March 25th in their universes so that we can be like that company in that one movie about Christmas. Then we can all show the shareholders what good people we are."

"Huh? All that just to win back shareholders? I mean… I'm sorry that everything that comes out of my mouth is a question but do you… like the sin kids."

The C.E.O. made a face of disgust.

"I don't like them. Not even a little. But my goal is to maximize profits for Lincorp. There are actually some shareholders that will invest up the ass if it means the safety of those bastards. People are even going so far as to create handmade plush dolls of them to sell at conventions. All that money will come rolling back to us with this project of mine. **Project Lincare.** We even already have some endorsements from some magical elves."

"I'm sorry… what!?"

"The elves of **Santa Claus** of course. He actually exists in the multiverse. I mean… we still didn't get the endorsement from Santa himself. Just some of his elves. Santa doesn't like the sin kids or their parents. They're sin kids for crying out loud. Heh."

"Okay, for the sake of my pension, I'll do whatever the hell you say."

"You only have to worry about phase one. Let me worry about phase two. I have to step out and make a phone call. I know that you have many more questions. Like, how did I step into a position of power like this. But we can talk about that later. When everything is finished. But until then, please, enjoy your meal."

"I will. Thank you."

The C.E.O. stood up and walked out of the dining room.

He pulls out his cell phone and speed dials a number.

"Hello? Hey, Vadim? It's Lincoln. Yeah… could you give me the number of the guy who… knows that… weird guy."

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 _Author's Note:_ I'm sorry if it feels like the holiday theme was shoehorned in. I just felt like making this to contribute to the story.

The third act of Things are happening could be posted this month or January. I'll just sit back, wait, and see.

Look forward to it.

And thank you all so much for the views.


End file.
